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Boundary Setting for New Leaders — Know How to Say No!
July 10, 2017

One of the most challenging aspects of rising to a new leadership position is figuring out what you should focus on and when to say "no" to allow you to concentrate on your key objectives and priorities. You may have become accustomed to saying “yes” to requests and tasks that elevated you into the leadership position in the first place. This may be a result of your "get things done" attitude, one that has served you well and enabled you to climb the corporate ladder to this point. But now the scale has tipped, and you have become the person that needs to deliver results through others—a leader.

You have the power to create movement and momentum within your immediate team and organization. However, the direction that energy travels will be determined mainly by the boundaries you set with the people who work for you and those that you now need to engage with at all levels in your new role. It’s even entirely possible that people who were your peers now must look to you for direction and decision making and this can be a tricky situation. It’s also essential to learn how to delegate, lead decisively and, hardest of all, how to feel okay about uttering the most potent two-letter combination in the English language: No.

Boundary Setting — A Balancing Act for Today’s Leaders

I believe that employee engagement is one of the most critical pillars of success in any organization. The numbers back me up on this, too:

  • Highly engaged employees have a 27% greater likelihood of reporting “excellent” performance
  • Teams that boast high employee engagement numbers are 21% more productive
  • Organizations staffed by highly engaged employees experienced an average three-year growth in revenue 2.3 times greater than those staffed by employees at average engagement levels
  • Companies that employ engaged employees outperform their disengaged counterparts by 202%
  • When an organization’s employees are highly engaged, customer retention rates rise, on average, by 18%

Creating a team of engaged employees is crucial to your success, so it's vital to implement initiatives that keep them happy, productive and passionate about their work. However, you also need to strike the proper balance by ensuring initiatives designed to make them more engaged do not create strain and unreasonable demand. Some members of the Millennial generation have eschewed old-school ways of thinking about work—they believe that a healthy work/life balance is no longer just a “nice-to-have," to them it’s essential.

Yes, we want to give our people flexibility, perks and opportunities to improve their professional career and overall development. We also want to make sure that we are considerate with work/life balance and their ability to operate freely and creatively in the workplace. But sometimes it’s necessary to say “no,” which can be terrifying, especially if you are new to leadership and eager to make a strong, positive impression.

So, how can you strike the right balance, set effective boundaries and learn how to say “no”?

Develop Clear Policies, Procedures and Set Expectations

One of the best ways to set and maintain healthy boundaries is to provide complete clarity on things like salary reviews, benefits, vacation and other perks that should not be ambiguous. Additionally, they should be discussed in detail with employees to ensure that all parties are on the same page.

Saying “no” in general is a lot easier when it’s backed up by well documented and agreed to policies and procedures. This also holds true for expectations. People need to understand what you expect from them, and you also need to know what they expect of you. Ensure that there is an ongoing exchange of expectation setting happening in your discussions and it will reduce the likelihood that you have to say no because of lack of clarity and understanding. Leaving things up to assumptions and generalizations will make your job as their leader ten times harder to be effective.

Avoid the Instinct to Apologize

If you want your employees to look up to you as their new leader, you may be tempted to couch every “no” in an apology. “I’m sorry, but…” This is not the way for a leader to convey a message, and remember it’s not personal so stop walking on eggshells and explain the "why" behind the "no." You are merely making decisions based on what's right for the organization. You don’t need to apologize, and you don’t need to over-explain your reasoning either. Just provide some basic rationale, so they understand where you are coming from. Apologizing for your response might be perceived as softening the strength of your leadership and weakening your authority.

Offer Alternatives

If you have to say “no” to an employee, you don’t have to think of it as a stop sign or an end to the discussion. If your employee asks for something that you are unable to give them, offer a compromise or alternative, if possible. You may also want to ask them for alternative ideas that align with both parties needs and are reasonable.

For example, if you cannot grant an employee time off during a particularly crucial period, work with them to determine a time that's more conducive to both the organizations and their needs. More often than not, when your “no” is followed by an alternative or a solution that may not have been considered, your employee will walk away from the conversation feeling engaged, respected and included in the decision-making process.

Consider Asking Questions Before Saying “No”

If employees are coming to you with ideas that they are eager to implement, you may feel the instinct to say “no” immediately if they do not seem conducive to the organization or team’s objectives and purpose. But instead of offering up your response right away, consider asking some questions:

  • What do you like about this idea?
  • How is this idea going to benefit the team or organization?
  • What was the trigger or situation that caused you to come up with this idea?

When you lead with questions, it facilitates a more productive collaboration of ideas and brainstorming that fosters creativity, engagement and inclusivity.

For example, let’s say one of your team members comes to you with the suggestion or idea that appears unorthodox at first glance. Understand that there is always a nugget of learning or opportunity that comes from ideas; what is required on your part to uncover these are patience, flexing self-awareness so you can pause and ask questions.

If you ask why they want to implement this idea and investigate how it was conceived, you will uncover some valuable information. "No" may prove to be the most appropriate response, but don't make it your first one.

Practice Saying “No” to Yourself

The pressure to perform well doesn’t disappear when you become a leader. There are still people above you in the organization that you want to impress, and there are still goals you want to achieve for your career. Unfortunately, saying yes to everything will deteriorate your energy level, effectiveness and may lead to burnout if done in excess. You have a team you can delegate to, and you have priorities to align. And you have a responsibility to stay sharp and focused for the good of your team and company.

You don't have to do it all; you simply have to know how to get it done and who to engage to deliver. This means involving other people, making tough decisions and speaking from a place of authority and it all begins with a healthy self-awareness practice. Know yourself so you can say “no” to yourself.

How Do You Handle Saying “No”?

Are you new to your leadership role? Have you experienced a difficult time transitioning? Are you experiencing trouble saying “no” to those you still think of as peers? It’s a difficult transition to make, but it’s a crucial one for your growth.

I would love to hear about the challenges you're facing, and I am curious about how you have handled saying "no" and how you have established boundaries in your new role. Email me at joanne.trotta@leadersedgeinc.ca. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

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