Let’s face it — no one enjoys being criticized, and if you are a leader, you are subject and vulnerable to criticism. It’s simply just part of the job. Leadership isn’t about being popular or well liked. Sure, it’s nice to feel the love from your team members and colleagues, but if that’s your goal, your organization may suffer from your misplaced priorities.

You have been placed in your position to make the tough decisions, regardless of the agendas of others. But when those decisions result in criticism — fair or not — it can leave you looking for excuses, or course correcting by becoming a people pleaser. This removes your focus from the objectives and goals of your organization, and it leaves you open and exposed to even more criticism.
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Sometimes you will receive criticism for decisions and actions that are within your direct control. Other times, people will place blame at your feet for outcomes that were not influenced by you. And guess what — it doesn’t matter. As a leader, you cannot “pass the buck,” deflect blame or invalidate criticism. You must face it head on and use it constructively to move your organization forward effectively. Yes, it’s a balancing act, and it will never be easy, but it is your job.

Handling criticism with grace requires self-awareness, emotional intelligence and confidence. And it means admitting when you’ve made mistakes.

As a leader, I am certain you have faced your share of criticism up to this point, and hopefully you also recognize that there’s room for improvement in terms of how you handle it. I have some advice that will help you transform criticism into a positive, driving force for your leadership and overall success within your organization.

Understand Where the Criticism Comes From

Sadly, some people come across as being naturally negative and critical while others appear as more forgiving and easygoing. Some of the people who offer you criticism are supportive and helpful, and others can be the opposite.

Before I provide my advice as to how you can deal with criticism more effectively, I think it’s important to distinguish the different types of people who criticize you and what their agendas might be.

• Destructive and Discouraging — These are the people who might be best described as “haters” or not in your camp. They are not trying to help you lead with helpful criticism; they are being critical and negative. For the most part, their criticisms can be ignored.
• Constructive but Discouraging — These people appear to be intelligent, and may have some good points to make, particularly when it comes to flaws in logic or planning. But they thrive on doling out criticism without providing any support. These are the people who require their own dose of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Their criticisms should be noted and addressed, but you should also remember that they tend to see flaws in just about everything they encounter, so you can take their critiques with a grain of salt.
• Destructive but Encouraging — These people love you and your leadership and will design their feedback in a way that builds you up and makes you feel empowered and positive. But their feedback will be largely absent of any criticism or detailed feedback that will help you grow – they are sort of like cheerleaders. They can work wonders for your self esteem, but you should not rely on them to provide you with any advice that helps you achieve your leadership goals.
• Constructive and Encouraging — These are the rare people within your organization who demonstrate an ability to provide useful, constructive criticism from a place of coaching and genuine motivation. It is likely that they have high potential for becoming leaders themselves, or that they are already in a position of leadership or influence. They provide feedback and criticism in a manner that is useful, honest, kind and empathetic. These are the people whose criticism should carry the most weight.

Ultimately, you need to understand that not all criticism is created equal. Consider who it’s coming from, and then proceed accordingly.

How to Handle Criticism Like a Grounded Leader

A grounded leader understands that criticism is nothing to be afraid of; it should be welcomed and encouraged. They see criticism as an opportunity for growth, learning and becoming a more effective leader.

Here are my tips for taking your ability to handle criticism to a new level:

#1 — Don’t Ignore It
As a leader, it might be easy to simply ignore criticism that comes your way. But that’s a terrible strategy that will only serve to alienate your team members (and customers, and clients). A grounded, emotionally intelligent leader puts their own personal feelings aside and handles the criticism directly. But first, they acknowledge it and let the affected parties know that they are listening. Take a look at this article about J. Crew CEO Jim Brett, who used emotional intelligence in the face of intense criticism. He took the criticism seriously and handled it gracefully. As a result, his company posted financial gains for the first time in nearly four years.

#2 — Own the Criticism
Often, leaders and people in general will respond to criticism by playing the victim, which is one of the quickest ways to lose the respect of your people. Instead, disregard your instinct to see yourself as a victim, and find the composure and maturity to use the feedback as an opportunity to behave and lead more effectively. This is how we all grow!

#3 — Take Time to Respond
Criticism can lead to impulsive actions and reactions if it’s dealt with too swiftly or too mindlessly. Acknowledge your feelings and tap into them before you respond or take action. Allow those feelings to be felt, then let them move on so you can respond in a more grounded, thoughtful manner. The criticism may be directed at you, but you must remember that it is often not about you.  

#4 — Don’t Be Afraid to Admit Mistakes
If the criticism is coming from a genuine place and it legitimately calls out an area of growth or opportunity, your best strategy is to acknowledge what could have been done differently and move on. The more you fight against the criticism, the more fervent the criticism will become. When you admit your mistakes, you defuse situations that might otherwise become unproductive or even destructive.

More Advice for Handling Criticism Gracefully

As you begin to handle criticism more effectively and more gracefully you will begin to feel and experience a positive shift in your leadership. You will also feel a positive, substantial shift in the way people provide feedback to you. When we are graceful and grounded in the face of criticism, you will notice an increase in the amount of helpful and constructive feedback you receive. You may also notice that your people will respect you more which will also drive increased engagement and productivity.

Are you interested in learning more about how grounded leaders face and react to criticism? I would love to talk with you. Email me at joanne.trotta@leadersedgeinc.ca or give me a call at 1-855-871-3374 to begin the conversation.